My BIG, BEAUTIFUL Adventure
in Boycotting
The Goal: To Spend Joyfully and with Purpose
By Chalmer Thompson
October 31, 2026
I’ve encountered danger at different times in my life, the sort that threatened my physical safety or that of others near me. My immediate, visceral responses are all too familiar: my heart races, my mouth dries out, and my breathing grows shallow.
Then there are occasions when the danger is psychological rather than physical. The same bodily reactions occur, but with less intensity.
Fortunately, the encounters of the first sort were rare, but frightening and lasting in my memory. I recall freezing when they occurred for what seemed like minutes, but in actuality, I responded within seconds. I did what I could to end the danger as quickly and as best as I could. Somehow, miraculously, I found away to keep a fire from consuming a colleague’s clothing. My car slid on ice on a highway, and as I faced oncoming traffic, I surprisingly and calmly steered onto the shoulder without being hit.
With psychological dangers, the reactions are less instinctual. Negative thinking enters our mind when we see things happen that we know to be very wrong, like a parent striking his child in public, or a boyfriend wrongly accusing his partner of cheating and berating him with insults. We may respond as though we don’t see what’s happening (”I don’t want to get involved,” “That person won’t listen to me anyway; someone else may come along and help”) or succumb to threats because of the fear of being alone, seen as weak, or unsympathetic. We might interpret these fears as dangers. Our thinking becomes distorted to the point that we question what we experience to be real.
This is what perpetrators want. They may also use gaslighting to sustain their harmful behavior, making you doubt what you’re seeing. Like when we see recordings of George Floyd’s murder, yet are convinced by a chorus of people involved in bringing justice to the killer that we saw something entirely different. We may also fear for our physical safety, as both physical and psychological danger can be wrapped into one. The global epidemic of violence against women is an example of this tragic violence.
In examining the self-talk centered on the psychological —- what could happen, how what I might do would make me look or feel- we spend a great amount of time, as well as psychic energy, doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT THE CHALLENGE BEFORE US. Then we can act on the instinct to be whole, let go of the fears we create in our minds, and take better care of ourselves and others. Negative self-talk comes largely from our past experiences. These experiences teach us to shy away from acting. We second-guess what we see. We second-guess our ability to create the change we need to stop the danger, or rather, the threat of harm, to our spirit.
As children, we may have been told by adults and/or peers that we’re AGGRESSIVE (or too smart, bougie, un-lady-like, mean, etc.), so we do everything we can not to be so; that we’re not worthy; therefore, we try to disappear and not be noticed or in the way. The media have a way of “telling” us the same thing: be prim, don’t be “ghetto,” “overlook the abuse,” withstand unethical and mean behavior because you don’t want to ruin your chance of getting ahead.
From Self-Talk to Action
Think about how you ABHOR being seen. For me, I hated the thought of people seeing me as irresponsible and reckless because, when I grew up, any sign of laziness or poor judgment was met with fierce discipline. As my friend Janet Cheatham Bell (2007) described in her book, The Time and Space that Gave Me Life, my parents viewed slovenliness as akin to sinning.
Letting go of the insistence that we MUST be a certain way at all times (perfectionism) matters for our well-being. It is okay to be lazy, even harmlessly reckless, and understanding our reactions to accusations of this quality can help us see why we react so strongly. Once we let go of these nagging inner voices, we can take steps to reduce the danger.
Here are healing self-talk examples:
I may not always be (smart, confident, impressive), but that doesn’t make me unworthy. Making mistakes is part of being human. Others have the right to make mistakes, too.
I may not see a silver lining in my actions right away, but one may appear over time. It doesn’t matter that I won’t see change in my lifetime, as long as I act humanely.
I get better at this the more I do it. I have plenty of examples of courageous people who neither avoid nor overreact, but who have not always done things perfectly.
Stay in the moment. If suspicion alone triggers visceral emotions, avoid speculation and stick to the facts.
In a recent difficult experience with a family member, I found myself using these positive, fact-based self-messages, and they worked quite well. I’ve been working with other family members who are also experiencing problems with him. We have been encouraging one another, using practical strategies to confront him with compassion and reason, and congratulating each other on small wins. Groups that work together to tackle common challenges that affect their members can therefore foster positive self-statements.
Life is always sweeter when we don’t have to go it alone.
Boycotting Lessons, and Two Goodies Worth Spending Your Money On
Like everyone else around my circle of modest-income neighbors, friends, and family, I am spending less money because of rising inflation. I am glad I’ve cut back without sacrificing “quality,” which I have learned over time is sometimes worth the higher cost, especially when I also cut out items or services I no longer “need.”
For example, this fall I didn’t buy the mums I normally buy and place in the yard, but I haven’t sacrificed mowing and raking the lawn.
With government regulations on food diminishing and recalls of vegetables, fruits, and meats rising, I spend more on organic, locally grown, preservative-free products. Quite simply, I eat less and more slowly. I hardly notice a difference in my hunger.
I cherish my visits with my adult children who live in Chicago, Philadelphia, and Atlanta. These have become my vacation places.
I give a little less money to my favorite charities, while I spend more time doing things locally for those in need. Over the past several months, I have taken time to support families going through the travails of deportation.
One thing I do for fun every year is to attend the Heartland Film Festival with my partner. We mostly go for the documentaries, our favorites, and this year’s lineup had some outstanding ones. To me, it’s worth spending money on these artistic creations that also offer insight into life, both locally and abroad.
We Are Not Invisible was made right here in Indiana and features doulas, who help women before, during, and after childbirth and can save lives, especially in this state. Women of childbearing age must learn about doulas and midwives. Watching this movie may change your mind if you think you’re “strong enough” to go without one or fully trust hospital doctors to meet your needs. Watch for where it plays again. It’s well worth watching. Check out the website of marvelous Just Community, Inc., based in Indianapolis: https://www.justcommunityindy.org/
Another is Loving Karma (https://jhamtse.org/loving-karma/), a beautiful documentary set in the Himalayan Mountains about a former monk who raises orphaned or otherwise unwanted children among the very poor people of Thar villages. It focuses on one “naughty” child named Tashi, who spits and fights with the other children and steadily proves difficult for the monastery teachers and mothers. The film spans 12 years, showing Tashi as an adult working at the monastery and helping new, naughty children. The film offers an illustration of how a community, not individuals alone, doggedly offers ‘seeds of love and compassion’ through daily, genuine acts, where there is little evidence of the ‘voices in the head’ that keep them from being genuine and present, and how the reality of this is not challenge-free, but rather brimming with love. Watching this film brought tears to my eyes.
